Overwhelmed…
by Annalay
Summary: It was late at night, somewhere around midnight and Cameron was sitting in his bed absent-mindedly watching some old episode of Doctor Who. He wasn't really paying attention to the screen. His mind was replaying things that happened in the lab and that infuriating conversation in the elevator with Kirsten. He hated that they finished that way...
1. Overwhelmed 1

A/N: My first Stitchers fanfiction. I finished watching the show like a week ago (still can't believe there will be no season 4) and Cameron won't leave me alone. So I will watch again just to please him (and myself) I couldn't help myself with that story. It somehow wrote itself with my hands. I think a one-shot but I can be persuaded…

And I'm sorry for all the mistakes (no beta)

* * *

 _Sometime after s02x01_

 **Overwhelmed…**

It was late at night, somewhere around midnight and Cameron was sitting in his bed absent-mindedly watching some old episode of Doctor Who. He wasn't really paying attention to the screen. His mind was replaying things that happened in the lab and that infuriating conversation in the elevator with Kirsten. He hated that they finished that way. That they both decided on mutual silence and a firm goodbye in front of the Chinees restaurant. Cameron had thought that they were way past that, he hoped against hope that Kirsten would finally say something, that she would make the thing between them easier in some way. God, he even hoped that she would scream at him about all the things that she could find in his head. Because let's be honest, Cameron wasn't an idiot and adding the fact that he was a neuroscientist who knows how the brain works he could only wish to keep his secrets secret, but he knew it was a lost cause. And no matter how far Kirsten should be from the emotional area of his brain it was almost impossible that she hadn't had any glimpses of his thoughts about her. And being absolutely conscious Cameron knew that he thought about her way too often.

But she decided to go radio silence, what's more, she acted as she was pissed off about something Cameron couldn't put his finger on. So now he was confused and slightly hurt but mostly confused. A stated of mind very familiar with Kirsten's name since the first day they met. And the sleepless nights were very familiar too. He was debating on going back to mindlessly watching the show till he would pass out from exhaustion or finding some alcohol when a loud banging noise broke him from his reverie. At first, he thought it was just the sound of thunder since there was a heavy storm outside, but the banging repeated itself, clearly sounding from his apartment's door. Cameron's tired mind finally kicked in and he scrambled from his bed and walked to the door. He opened them without even glancing to check who was outside, he had some idea who might be outside but after today it was very unlikely.

But there she was. To Cameron utter surprise it was Kirsten at his door. A very wet and misery looking Kirsten. Her wet hair was dripping small puddles where she was standing outside his door and her clothes didn't look any better. She had a grey jumper which was so wet that the color turned into black and was hanging from her slender form. One look at her face told Cameron that Kirsten was having even worst night than he had. She had red eyes and was shivering in the dim light of the corridor.

"Kirsten?!" It was half an exclamation of surprise half a question. "Oh, my god, you are soaking wet. What happened?" Cameron pulled her inside and she came willingly allowing him to be yanked inside his apartment. "I need to find you some towel." Cameron was trying to let her go but she held him in place.

"No, please." She whispered on the verge of tears. Cameron looked slightly panicked at her. He had never seen her like that before. Camille told him about her nervous breakdown when he was dying but seeing her like that was very new and very scary experience.

"Kirsten, what's going on?" He asked her tentatively searching her eyes. "What happened?"

"Please don't go." She answered her voice shaking with tears, her words almost incoherent. "I needed to see you, and then the storm started, and I was so close to your place…" She started babbling and he let her, Cameron could tell that trying to reasoning with her now was impossible.

"I know it's late. I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing here." She looked soberer around the room with a surprised look. Cameron felt utter panic when he realized that she was walking in that state of mind to his apartment in the middle of the night.

"Kirsten…" He stepped closer to her trying to get her attention. He grabbed her by her arms, god she was cold… and wet. He needed her to get warm, without thinking he pulled her into his arms. He could feel when his t-shirt started to get damp but he couldn't care less.

"I'm so sorry and now you are also wet." Kirsten pulled away looking at his chest. "I don't know why I needed to be here." She said confused and added more frustrated "I can't stop crying, Cameron. Why can I stop crying?"

"Kirsten!" Cameron said louder gaining her attention before she started babbling again. Something had her clearly messed up and Cameron needed her to focus or at least calm down a little.

"What?" She answered finally focusing her eyes on him. It wasn't a good idea because seeing her eyes all red from crying and darkened form fear almost took Cameron breath away. But he fought the urge to pull her into his arm again.

"We need to find you something to change into before you catch a cold, not to mention this is a wooden floor." Cameron gestured to the two small puddles that her soaking shoes and dipping water made on his floor.

"What?" She asked confused then she looked at the floor and her clothes. "Oh, I'm sorry…" and another set of fresh tears flashed in her eyes. Cameron without thinking brushed the tears from her checks. He was trying very hard not to pay attention to how soft her cheeks were and how close they were. It was stressful enough to deal with this Kirsten not with all his overthinking connecting with her.

"Hey. I don't care about that floor that much, so please stop…" He tried to calm her.

"I don't know what to do with all the thoughts that are in my head, Cameron." Kirsten said slowly looking at him for answers. "How do you deal with this? How can you stand…"

"What?" He asked dreading the question.

"All this," she gestured between them and Cameron's heart stopped for the second time during those few days, but she continued, and he tried to listen. "All those emotions that can be felt. How don't you go crazy because of them?"

"I had a lot of time and exercises to deal with them." He started slowly "And you, my darling, are having a crash course now so it only natural it will be messy. And now we need to underdress you."

She looked at him confused and slightly alarmed.

"For a very platonic strictly practical reason." Cameron explained hastily trying very hard not to have a heart attack again. His poor heart had a very bad night. "Come with me." And he pulled her in the direction of his bedroom. He was trying very hard not to think too much of this situation. He was trying… the keyword was 'trying'.

Ten minutes later Kirsten was dry and in a fresh pair of clothes, if a too long T-shirt and boxers could be called set of clothes but there were dry and smelled … Cameron which she found oddly familiar and comforting. She was sitting in his kitchen when he was busy making her some hot beverage. Cameron after a minute of consideration spiked Kirsten's tea with a significant amount of alcohol, doing the same thing with his. It was an extremely weird night and it could get even weirder. Cameron put the mug of steaming hot tea in front of Kirsten and just looked at her. He didn't need to ask, she was perfectly aware of the question hovering in the air.

"I don't know what happened, Cameron." She started answering his unsaid question. "It is so not me. I don't show up at people places wet and crying. It's just not me." He looked at her with those green eyes and Kirsten suddenly decided that she could be that person. She could show up at people's places at Cameron's place particular and that he had no problem with that.

"And as I was saying before," He said taking a solid sip from his mug. "Normal people had a lot of time to deal with emotions, yours were switched off at eight, you have over fifteen years of arrears in that department."

"It's just wired." Kirsten stated blowing at her tea.

"What?"

"That everything was OK when I was coming home," She stated not looking at him but staring intently at her tea. "I even was slightly angry at you for being …" she stole a fast glance at him but he didn't even blink so she continued. "You know …you," Cameron snorted but didn't say anything, letting her talk. "And then suddenly … I don't know how to explain it." She said disturbed finally meeting his eyes across from the table. "Is it always so hard?"

"To explain?"

"Yes… no… to tell what you want to say." Kirsten said trying to voice her thoughts. "It somehow sounds different when I say it than it was in my head."

"Oh," Cameron almost laughed at loud, but he hid a knowing smile behind his mug and continued "that's the beauty of this sunshine. You just discovered the greatest mystery of all. How on earth you think one thing and you say the other."

"You are not helping, Cameron." Kirsten almost growled at him.

"I don't know how I can help here." Cameron sounded frustrated because he rarely was unable to fix or solve anything. "It's taking me almost thirty years to figure it out and I'm perfectly sure I haven't muster that art yet."

"And you don't have any mental dysfunction…" Kirsten muttered more to herself than to him, but it still made Cameron smile.

"Not that I know of." After that last statement, Cameron yawned spectacularly and rubbed his face to stay awake. Suddenly her present here and the spiked tea were working miracles on his tired brain and he felt tired and ready to sleep.

"I'm sorry." Kirsten started standing up ready to leave. "It's late and I'm barging here…"

"Don't worry," Cameron reassured her also standing, he couldn't let her leave, what was more disturbing he didn't want her to leave. "Not that I had any sleep before you came, truth be told Stretch not only you had some emotional day at work today."

"I better go." Kirsten said again but not very convincing. She also noticed her current state of clothing and there was no chance she could put back her previous clothes which were piling on Cameron's bathroom floor.

"Yeah, good luck with that outfit." Cameron stated the obvious eying his clothes on her. He was forcing all his will not to overthink this situation. Some small part of his brain flashes imagines of their first encounter in a similar dress code. Cameron thought how many things had happened since then. "Come on Stretch, it's not like you didn't sleep in my bed before. We can talk in the morning when your clothes are dry enough, so I can drive you home."

"I shouldn't …" Kirsten sounded unconvinced. Cameron was amazed on how different she acted ever since he woke up in the hospital after that reckless and stupid – but brave in his eyes- attempt to help.

"I can call you a cab," He offered but looked at her skeptically. "But you would still go in your or mine to be specific - PJ, because as you could see that tea wasn't just a tea, so I can't drive."

"OK, but…" Kirsten still looked at the door, but Cameron decided that it was time for action.

"No buts," He said and pulled her from the door and toward the bedroom. "Just go to sleep, Stretch, before I lost the need to sleep again and you will be forced to what Doctor Who with me till morning."

"I will pass." Kirsten answered fast.

"Just as I was thinking, come on." Then he ushered her into his bedroom and toward the bed. Safely tucked in Cameron's bed Kirsten looked slightly out of place, she grabbed Cameron's hand before he had a chance to leave.

"Is there a chance that you would stay here… and we would not make a big deal with this?" Kirsten asked him her eyes searching and vulnerable. Cameron knew perfectly well that he was at lost the minute she looked at him like that.

"We did that once, so …" Cameron said hastily trying and falling not to sound nervous. That Halloween night was still so very vivid in his mind. He was sure that the second time he would spend the night with Kirsten in the same bed would result in another sleepless week. But he knew he was unable to say 'no' to her. He walked past his bed and climbed on the opposite side. This time Kirsten didn't try to cuddle with him and Cameron didn't know if he was grateful or missed that fact. There was a deep and void space between them. He couldn't say how long he would stand that weird thing which was going on between them. But it wasn't the time nor the space to talk about this. After some minutes of silence mussing when Cameron was listening to the distant sound of passing storm he finally whispered a question he wanted to ask since she walked in half wishing Kirsten was asleep.

"Kirsten, why were you crying?"

"Because of you." She whispered after a very long pause and Cameron's heart stopped for a bit again.

"What?" He couldn't stop himself from asking but he knew he should have.

"I can't lose you, Cameron," Kirsten muttered under her breath and Cameron froze at his side of the bed, but she continued so he let her talk. "I remember… all the things that happened and I can't forget the sight of you unconscious and cold in the lab…" Kirsten answered after another silent moment, Cameron stopped breathing just waiting for her to say what she wanted. "And that scares me because I have never felt so afraid as when you were almost dead. And I don't do scare. But I wish I could never see this again."

"That makes two of us." And Cameron did something very brave that moment. He reached and grabbed her hand squeezing it reassuringly but after a minute he had no intention of letting her go. He was half sure Kirsten would pull her hand back, but she never did that. Minutes later they were both fast asleep their hands still joined in the middle of the bed. Consequences be damned.

Or be faced in the morning…

* * *

A/N thanks for reading, please tell me what you think. I think I will be back with more Cameron… will see. First posted on Archive of our Own


	2. Overwhelmed 2

_Somewhere at the end of season 2, there is a conversation between Cameron and Kirsten when she says to him that she misses him and they don't spend time with each other anymore. This is maybe the conversation that provokes that confession._

 _I don't own anything. I do it for fun._

* * *

 **Overwhelmed #2**

"I swear to God if I hear word Nina once again I will scream, or punch someone" Kirsten muttered into the table in the conference room when all the other had left.

"What?" A certain voice asked, and Kirsten's head snapped up in fear that she said it too loud or a certain neuroscientist heard that. But it was only Camille walking back to the room for the missing tablet that she left behind.

"Nothing, I was talking to myself," Kirsten spoke fast, to fast for her linking, judging by the look on Camille's face she heard Kirsten loud and clear and now a knowing smile was playing on her lips.

"Yes, loudly talking," Camille said and sat on the table in front of very unhappy looking Kirsten. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." The blond girl answered again not really wanting to start that conversation since feeling emotions was hard enough for her and to talk about them was almost impossible for the new emotional Kirsten. She was dreading that conversation.

"Kirsten," Camille started giving her the look that made most of the people around the lab crumbling and submitting to her biding "You can fool all of them but it's me, spill."

"It nothing, "Kirsten tried the last vague attempt at not having this conversation, but Camille didn't even blink, so she started "Is that …" She didn't know how to put all the things in her head to words and it made her even more frustrated and confused.

"What?" Camille asked again, and this time Kirsten just started babbling.

"Is that she's everywhere" When Camille looked at her puzzled Kirsten added, "Nina – she's everywhere all the time -on his phone, in his flat, in the evening, in the morning, literally everywhere…" Kirsten stopped talking trying hard to avoid adding the next place where she didn't want to imagine Cameron and Nina.

"In his bed?" As if Camille knew how to read minds.

"What?" Kirsten defended herself. "I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to, "Camille clarified and continued. "I see how you look at Cameron's phone whenever a certain name flashes on."

"It flashes all time so it's not so hard," Kirsten muttered angrily spinning in her chair stealing a look at the lab. Cameron was talking to Alex next to the corps cassette, so she was safe with that conversation. She didn't want him to hear any of this crazy exchange. She was surprised that she didn't run away the moment Camille interrogation skills kicked in.

"That is what I was talking about when I first asked you if you are OK with Nina," Camille informed Kirsten but the blond girl only glared back at her friend and answered.

"It was like two months ago, and I didn't know that…"

"What?" Camille almost smiled but she stopped herself it was no need to make it harder for Kirsten than it already was. Still, Camille just could help herself, Kirsten needed a lesson in toying with somebody's else feeling and as long as she could give that lesson she just couldn't resist. "That he would have spent time with her? That he would be sleeping with her?"

"You are not helping," Kirsten growled under her breath still looking at the lab on Cameron's back. "And it's not the point here…"

"It's exactly the point, Sweetheart" Camille said. "You are jealous,"

"No, I'm not…" Kirsten turned looking angrily at her friend, she couldn't be jealous she didn't even know how to feel jealous.

"Yes, you are," Camille informed her "And it's quite cute on you, but still you need to work harder on concealing it in front of mister 'I have plans with Nina' because its showing and he may be an ass but he isn't that stupid."

"I don't know what I can do." Instead of denying Kirsten decided on honesty. She didn't know what she wanted. There were times like this that she simple missed Cameron. Missed the fact that he was always there for her. Now when he wasn't around all the time she missed him terribly and in a rare moment of pure panic, she didn't know what to do with all the feelings that emerged to surface when he wasn't around.

"Tell him," Camille said plainly but Kirsten only frowned at her.

"What?" She asked in disbelieve. "That I'm jealous? Nope, not happening. I told him I was OK with all that Nina thing and I am." It didn't sound much convincing even for Kirsten.

"You don't have to lie to me I'm on your side," Camille said to her finally sitting in the chair next to Kirsten. "And I know Cameron is just taking a break from all the feelings for you. You blocked him, you almost throw him in Nina's arms so now you need to act gentle and let him untangle himself from her."

"I don't see it coming," Kirsten whispered afraid that it might be the truth.

"I can see that, but…" Camille reassured her, but Kirsten just interrupted her.

"But what?"

"He waited for you almost a year," Camille started to explain and Kirsten for the first time on this entire conversation really focused on her words. "When you were almost engaged when you were acting all emotionless and cold he was there. When he finally had a chance with you, you told him that you need time and space." Kirsten looked hurt, so Camille raised her hand in defense. "I got it, I'm not judging I'm just saying…"

"That it's my time to wait." Kirsten finished looking back at the lab. This time Cameron looked at her the exact same moment a small smile playing on his lips. Kirsten smiled involuntarily.

"Exactly." Camille finished and patted her on the shoulder when she stood up taking the forgotten tablet with her.

Kirsten smiled back at Cameron, she couldn't help it. This arrogant, comic lover, movies obsessed neuroscientist somehow messed up her entire world making it all emotional and confusing. But she would wait for him if there was a slight chance that he would come back to her.

* * *

A/N: No matter how I'm trying Cameron and Kirsten won't leave me alone. So maybe I will play that little game with them and they would finally leave me alone. Thanks for reading please leva a note to proof me that there are people around here who watch Stitchers because I feel kind of lonely with my obsession.


End file.
